He’s Always Been Faithful

This year is coming to a close and what a lovely year it has been! So full of good times, hard times, and lots of adventures. I wanted to dedicate this blog to reflecting on these first 115 days in Bolivia and looking forward to the remaining 146 days I have here.

I had to write a reflection paper for my Student Missions class from Southern today. We were asked several questions that were intended to cause us to reflect on our time in the mission field thus far. I found it strangely difficult to formulate answers to questions like, “How have you changed or grown?” and “What is the most important thing you have learned in the mission field?”. Somehow, it’s a bit hard to remember exactly how life was before coming here. To anyone who has not done mission work before, I’m sure that sounds a bit crazy. But it’s hard to describe how different and far removed this world here is from the life I live in the states. But as I thought about it more, I was able to come up with answers to those reflective questions.

Below: Two of the Guerreros doing a presentation for their final day of school.

Below: The Leones who came to watch the school presentations. Even Otis, the chihuahua came for the event.

It’s hard to even know how much this experience has changed me and will continue to change me. It has certainly grown me in many respects. I have learned that living in the moment and enjoying the little things is a valuable part of life that most of America seems to have totally forgotten in the hustle and bustle of life. I have learned more about lesson planning. I have learned a lot more Spanish and am continuing to learn more nearly every day. I have learned just how important it is who you marry and how you raise your children, because every day I see the hurt that results from unwise decisions in that department through these sweet kids that come from less-than-loving situations. I have been reminded how much there is to be learned in nature, and I am continually amazed at how amazing plants are. I have learned such a huge amount about gardening both in tropical situations and in general that it is hard to imagine how I ever thought myself remotely knowledgeable before coming. I have learned that going to bed on time is more important than I had ever realized before. And I have even learned that rats really love to eat mangoes.

Below: Some garden pictures of our produce!

Below: Lots of sunflower seed roasting and saving has been going on recently!

However, I think one of the biggest themes and most important things that God has been teaching me this semester is to really relax and trust Him. There are so many things to worry about in life — sickness, food, relationships, hardship, future plans, and even gardens in my case.

There have been so many times that I worry that I’m terribly unqualified for this position of Farm Manager. It is such a big job, and I know there are other people more capable of doing it. But I have been learning that if God called me to do this, He only asks me to do my best. And if I do my best, He will take care of the rest. I don’t have to stress about what is not going well and what I don’t have time to finish. At the end of each day, I am learning that I can go to bed knowing that I did my best, and the rest is up to God to work out. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

There have been countless moments that I have been stressed whether it’s about teaching my class, the garden, missing home, future plans, relationships, or even wondering if I made the right decision with a kid while I was helping with house parenting. But I am learning to let go and let God carry those things for me.

Below: A compilation of pictures with some of our sweet girls at church and worship. The building in the background is the church on campus.

The situation with the kids that have to leave Familia Feliz at the end of this semester has been difficult for me as well. It is so hard to know that we are absolutely helpless to do anything to be able to protect them or help them. Even as we said goodbye to the kids last week, it was hard because we knew that many were going to very difficult situations. But I am beginning to realize my own human limitations and am beginning to understand the beauty of serving such a loving and powerful God. I can do nothing more for these kids, but the only reason they even had me here in the first place was because God led me here. I was never the one ultimately taking care of them and working everything out. God was using me for a time, but He is perfectly capable of caring for them without my help. And prayer is a highly powerful tool to be able to help people whether they’re near or far from me. I’ve been learning to let go in general: let go of the kids, let go of the garden, and let go of so many other things I try to worry about and somehow control by stressing about them. It really is silly that I so often think that things will work out better if I keep them in my control rather than trusting the God of the Universe to work them out for me. There is such peace in letting go! It is something I’m still working on, but I am so grateful that I can leave all of my fears, worries, and struggles in the hands of my very capable Creator.

Below: Alvaro liked wearing Teacher Sophia’s rain coat that was very big for his little tiny self.

Below: On the way to the pool with the Leones last week!

Below: Sophia and I with some of the Leones in the pool. We had a lot of fun!

As I look forward to the new year, there are going to be many changes that I would appreciate your prayers for. Right now Familia Feliz is searching for a new director, as our current one will be moving elsewhere next year. We are in a great stage of transition.

Below: Emilie’s version of a baby carrier is her raincoat. Santi was quite happy to get to be with her all of the time and not be set down.

We also will have a transition of student missionaries. Lauren will be leaving to continue her studies at Southern in a little less than a week. Lauren has been such a light at Familia Feliz. I enjoy getting to be with her for many reasons, but especially for her sense of humor. She makes great jokes and also finds things so amusing too. I love getting to laugh with her. She’s also so thoughtful. She seems to notice things that other people may brush over. She loves her girls at the Flores house very much, and somehow managed to handle the entire Flores house as a single mother every Thursday by herself with all 10 girls. She appears to do it quite naturally and even has the girls playing fun, creative games together in the yard while she’s parenting all by herself. I’m always impressed at her capability and creativity! She will certainly be missed on our SM team.

Below: Lauren with two of her girls.

We are all heading out on a Christmas trip around South America in less than a week! But when we come back, I am excited about the potential for the garden. I’m hoping to start a more organized work program with the kids, as well as get more in-depth in agriculture class. I am excited that the greatest part of rainy season will be ending so that it hopefully won’t be too wet. I’m looking forward to being able to take the knowledge I’ve gained in these few months and apply it even more efficiently and effectively as I start second semester with a little more experience under my belt.

Below: The Flores were excited about their Christmas tree!

When we come back, we will also have a few new SM’s coming and several mission groups doing projects for a couple weeks. I would guess that second semester will fly by. If it’s anything like first semester, I will be so very grateful for my experience. I’ve learned so much, grown so much, and met so many people that I now love so much. God is just so good and faithful. There’s a song by Sara Groves called, “He’s Always Been Faithful” and it has beautiful words talking about how God is always faithful through all of the highs and lows of life. He has always been faithful: through all the garden successes and failures, the language barrier, the challenging classes, the fun times with sweet kids, the sad goodbyes, the missing home, the rats in my house, getting Dengue, the bad phone service for calling, the fun events and parties, the days off, the long days weeding, and the fun times harvesting grapefruits and arm wrestling with the kids, and all of the times in between. The ending to that song goes like this,

“God has been faithful,

He will be again.

His loving compassion,

it knows no end.

All I have need of,

His hand will provide.

He's always been faithful to me.”

God has been faithful, He will be again. Whatever this next semester holds, I know that I’m going into it with a faithful God who loves me and will guide me every step of the way. And you can go with Him too in this New Year — just ask Him to come along.

Below: Our first and last picture of all of us together as student missionaries. Somehow we have never gotten us all together for a photo. We have a more formal one as well, but I thought you’d enjoy the selfie too.